hmm .. tomorrow valentine day liao rite .. wish all couples a veri happy valentine's day lo .. haiz .. mi so sian .. tml i going out .. sure c all those couples wan .. en en ai ai .. so shuang *l0lsS* .. never mind larhs .. at least i got my fwens wib me tml rite ? hees .. got frens i already very happy le larhs .. what more can you ask for ? some pple dun even hab frens .. cuz dey always backstab 1 lo .. hees .. actually i today very angry mahz .. cuz gt this fren backstab me .. tell pple my secrets .. nt all .. but part of it .. actually i dun feel lik toking to her wan .. but she sae she dunno that she cannot tell .. haiz .. nvm larhs .. forgive and forget ..den we frens back le .. hees .. jus hope nxt tym dun liddat can le larhs ..

tml going out with fwens .. budden dunno wan go wear lehs .. mayb walk walk around singapore .. haiz .. but singapore very sian .. nothing much to walk de .. sian until lik siao .. haiz .. hw i wish can go japan .. i noe bu ke neng de larhs .. jus wishful thinking on my part .. jus lik i always do .. oni noe hw to daydream .. hees .. tml i cfm wan to tk neoprint liaoz larhs .. long tym didnt tk neoprint liao lers .. miss miss the neoprint station .. so mani new 1 cum lerhs .. all imported frm japan 1 .. gt 1 in chinese 1 osho .. haha .. cant wait for tml to come neh .. but hor .. tml gt marching for band .. i dunno if i going anot .. cuz i feeling abit sick le .. today cum back around 6.30pm liddat .. wahz .. v long hor .. school end at 12.25 leh .. i 6.30 den reach hm .. haiz .. den jus nw when sectional facing the sunlight .. cuz we sit outside the music room .. den nw abit sick liao .. v headache .. gastric .. and dizzy dizzy 1 .. haiz .. so i dunno whether tml i going anot .. hees .. but going out i sure going loh .. cuz already plan wib fwens le larhs .. of cuz mus go 1 rite ..

haiya .. today in school so sian arhs .. first period social studies .. sian sia .. haven get e results for the social studies test .. i tink wun pass de lors .. not so clever anyway .. den sian lo .. learn about separation .. i tot sec 2 learn liao den sec 3 wun learn anymore le larhs .. whu knoes .. back to the same topic .. merger and separation .. wahz .. sucks lor ..  den laat got literature .. hmm .. i tink literature quite fun .. cuz the teacher v farni .. sumtime abit act cute but nvm larhs .. liddat we got more things to luff abt in klass rite .. hees ..  den got history afterwards .. wah lao .. history iz the worst of all lo .. las tym that man teacher go for course .. wah lao .. y he go .. he quite gd as a teacher loh .. he go course .. den this stupid witch teach us .. wah lao .. dun understand a single word lo .. nt a single word .. prepare to fail history until that guy teacher cum back lo ..  haiz .. sure fail 1 ..

hmm .. den nothing happen le lor ..  go cca .. den nw cum back writing this blog .. haiz .. after writing dunno wan surf wear le .. nothing to do on net also .. usually on fri nights i nt at hm 1 .. so sian sian sian .. budden i nw nowhere to go le .. las tym got pavilion to go .. lol .. dats y nw stay at home mahz .. jus nw during recess .. xiao^ann ask me tml wan to go pavilion anot .. lik meet at pavilion .. hmm .. i dunno wan go anot leys .. dere lik no pple ler .. all those nerdy nerdy type .. but tml sat .. i scared i tml if go .. i will c the pple dat i dunwanna see lo .. haiz .. the more u dun wan c .. the more the person will appear lohz .. keke .. dun sae le .. hmmz .. mayb tml i wan buy new schoolbag lo .. my sch bag sucks man .. so ugly .. so big .. put abit thing already heavy .. so stupid this bag .. lols .. actually i las tym dunwan buy de .. budden no tym le marhs .. sum more dat tym at cineleisure .. saw this bag .. las one .. so shun bian buy lo .. haiz .. this bag too common le larhs .. and i dun lik to carry common things .. hees .. same for clothes .. me dun lik hangten , giordano and jeans lo .. v common marh .. also v ugly .. l0lsS .. jkjk ..

keke .. i think i stop until here .. haiz .. tml valentine day le .. sian arhz .. stop till here .. tml update .. zAI jiAn ~

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yoU sAy dAt u aRe lOnEly oN vAleNtinE tMl .. bUt dO yU nOe dEre's sUm1 wAitinG?

hallo all .. wahz .. today sibei sian .. actually evry thursdae i go out one leys .. go out wib my bez frens dey all .. budden todae ne .. i got chemistry test after school .. after school leys .. sian sian sian .. i didnt realli study lors .. but to me.. the test quite okay .. not very easy ..but not very hard also .. hope i can pass lors .. cuz i got a feeling i can fail alot of subjects 1 .. somemore this month realli alot of tests .. tml iz literature liao .. next wk is chinese .. den after chinese got maths .. wahz .. i realli very stress sia .. nxt time sec 4 dat tym dunno hw le wor .. can go jump dwn liaoz .. hahaz .. hmm .. today me lik happi wors .. haha .. dunno y .. but i dun think of las tym things le . me today jus hang around wib my frens .. den study chemistry lorz .. didnt think le .. dats y mayb i happier abit le lor .. haiz .. i tink me realli surrender to love le larhz .. i realli surrender liao ..

Haiz .. maybe me fated to live alone de larhs .. cannot blame 1 rite ? this kind of things .. all is god plan de .. god hates me marhs .. u all noe simple plan that song ? God must hate me ? Yeah .. god hates me .. he dun gif me the bez .. oni the worse .. cuz i din go church le mah .. he sure very mad at me de lor .. dats y bcum liddat .. haiz ..  nvm lah .. suan le .. destined de lors .. all this things .. haiz .. sian ar .. lata going to jap lesson .. realli sumtime the tcher toking nonsense lor ..i ask my japanese friend .. sumtimes dey even sae wear gt this sentence .. haiz .. stupid lor ..  i today no mood to write leys .. mayb lata cum bac again .. tata ~

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                                         dArE n0t tEll y0u i lYk y0u

today my mood veri veri bad .. realli realli veri veri bad .. haiz .. i even ignore my fwens again .. i realli dunno hw cum u bcum liddat liao .. i realli cannot control my temper liao .. yesterday i burst into tears again .. in the night .. den my parents scold me for nothing .. that also make me cry .. haiz .. dis few daes i lyk so fragile .. keep crying .. ytd i cried for v long .. i told my mum and dad .. if they so lik to pick on me .. dey might as well kill me .. i dun feel lyk living anymore .. dey tot i oni threatening dem .. but i was not .. i realli mean it .. how i wish someone will end my life yesterday .. i sat on the toilet floor .. i cry and cry .. den my mum came to knock on the door .. she ask me to cum out .. i told her to go away .. go away since she dun even care whether i was dead or not .. i yesterday realli go bonkers lor .. hw cum i bcum liddat .. haiz .. i dunno y .. the memories of him .. keep cuming back the last few daes .. and i know .. i haf to accept the fact he was oni playing around wib me lors .. i shoyldnt look back le .. haiz .. i mus work harder to forget him ..

soree to all those who i ignored today .. i cannot pay attention in klass nowadays .. either i dream or slp .. or i jus draw on my books .. i cannot concentrate .. and i noe i am going to fail .. i cannot cope wib the schoolwork .. especially poa .. and biology  .. iz nt dat i turn a deaf ear .. the tchers dunnoe hw to teach .. anyhow teach 1 .. haven even grasp the knowledge den she test liao .. haiz .. win liao lor .. i realli die die le lor .. haiz .. what am i going to do ???????? the stress is oni the starting oni .. i still g0rt a long way to go .. den sec 4 lehs .. haiz ..

After all the sufferings i been thru in lurve .. i realised i still lik him* .. hmm .. the him* is another him* .. nt the him whu played around wib me .. wahz .. long story lorhs ..  iz sec 1 i lik him* le .. but i dunno him .. until las yr .. we bcum quite gud frens de .. budden druing dec hols .. lik didn contact le .. esp after my fone lost .. but nw .. sumtime he online will tok to me .. other times didnt le .. haiz .. i knoe i still lyk him* .. i am very very sure .. haiz .. but i noe he wun lik me de lor .. hw cum i so sure u c my history .. iz either i dun lik that person .. or dat person dun lik me .. nvr once i get wad i want .. and i v sure .. this time i also wun get wad i wan lo .. so i rather suffer myself .. den get him* involved .. cuz i realli realli scared dat .. if i tell him le hor .. he reject me .. den reject me le hor .. we cannot b frens le .. thats worse rite .. so i tink .. i dis time not so stupid le lahz .. keep to myself it the best lorz .. let me suffer myself .. since i alread suffer since frm dunno when .. also xi guan le lah ..

sian arz .. dis yr valentine day v sian .. very very sian .. haiz .. i going to spend wib my friends lor .. dunno wan go wear le lahz .. go out also pek chek .. c all those couples so happily in luv .. while here me suffering .. haiz .. nvm nvm ..better den coop urself at hm rite ? hehe .. think of the bright side ~ .. haiz .. but i noe i cant de .. haiz .. c lor .. i lik to haiz so much .. grow white hair le lahz .. anyway .. i tink i stop here le lor .. haiz .. tml den update ~ gud luck fer my chemistry test tomorrow !

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                       s0 l0nG lErS .. i stiLL hAbEn fErgEt yU nE

hey pplez .. haiz .. dunno whether got pple reading this blog anot sia .. lik no pple care 1 lo .. haiz .. but if no pple read osho gud lahz .. liddat i can write more personal things le .. den no pple will osho bother wad i write lo .. right ?

I these few daes v bad mood .. abit nia i get angry liao .. mood realli realli v bad .. and i ignore my frens sometimes .. i dun even care whether i ownself in the right or wrong .. as long i ownself not happi .. i jus walk away .. not toking to dem anymore .. i noe i in the wrong .. but i jus cant help but doing this .. i really dunno wad happen to me .. haiz .. what happen to mi ? i nid frenship .. i am not a loner .. but i realli dunno wads happening to me .. why i sumtimes get angry at my friends ? ya la .. sometimes they in the wrong .. but when i get angry tt time .. already i thought tt i was the one whu always sacrifice .. but when i really nid sum one .. i cant even find dem .. so u tink .. whuse in the wrong now ? iz not i lik to get angry lo .. but the reality always is liddat .. they bang seh .. and dey sum time sae not purposly .. den dey nid me .. i will go to dem .. when i nid dem .. i cant even find them ..

I really feel very lonely .. very very lonely .. although den those "friends" whu always say stand by ur side .. but actually dey don't .. of cuz la .. gt other friends wad .. lik those can click those kind .. budden i still feel v left out .. very very lonely .. i realli dun lik to go sch now .. always i c pple happily together .. den me leh ? although i gt frens .. dey lik dun even care wan ..  sumtimes even the nt so gd frens u have more fun wib den .. then those whu claim to b yr best frend .. haiss .. i really very lonely leh ~

Hmm .. long tym didnt lik sum1 le .. can sae long tym mahz ? i not sure leh .. cuz las few daes gt crush on sum ppl3z .. budden i tot that that is a crush oni lo .. cuz realli dun hab that special special feeling .. i tink i lyk back sum1 i knew le .. and i miz him alot .. can sae miz mah ? i tink can la .. although tt dae jus saw him at somewhere in singapore .. but not the same again le .. las tym at least we gt tok when face to face .. but nw chances are very low .. bcuz nt in school le mahz .. sum more i didnt go to that place le .. haiz .. so what if i lik sum1 ? i knoe the person sure dun lik mi de lor .. iz cfm 100% plus chop plus stamp .. hw can the person lik mi ne .. mi so ugly .. so uncute .. so fat somemore .. haiz .. hu will wan to lik moi ? so even though i lik sum pple nw .. i wun tell le .. cuz i noe .. even i tell .. that person confirm dunlik moi .. somemore worst still .. mayb he dunwan to b even friends le .. i dare not tk the risk anymore lo .. i been hurt can sae mani times le lo .. las tym my entry remember .. haiz .. the cut my wrist tt one .. i dunwan such things to happen again .. both of us will feel v akward when we c each other lo .. and i cfm will cry .. cry cry cry .. hais .. dunno y me always cry ..

haiss .. i realli feel v lonely .. the world is not on my side .. no one is on my side de .. haiz .. i oni noe i always fail .. nvr suceed b4 .. haiz ..  haiz .. feel lik suicide again lehz ..  dun tink i always joke joke wib u all .. i this tym realli feel lik doing it le .. i dunno y .. i feel lik tking poison .. die a painless one .. what's the use of staying here ? i get nothing .. oni suffering u noe that ? my family always bias .. side my sister .. things i didnt do .. they blame me .. sumtimes i dun even noe wad happen .. they beat me .. nvm .. las tym gt financial difficulty that time .. my father blame me .. wah lau .. he's problem he osho blame me .. sae i always waste money .. k la .. mayb i waste money .. budden i didnt cause this problem okie .. u blame me osho no use wad .. den nvm .. in school .. sum pple sae i diao dem .. i innocent 1 lor .. but heng .. nw nothing le .. den my frens or "frens" all liddat .. not 1 of dem can b counted as steady 1 lor .. i tell u first .. den lurve leh .. always fail .. or not unrequited .. but sure a v painful one .. haiz .. i nw osho dare nt accept any 1 le lor .. i v scared all these things will happen again .. and i lik de person cfm dun lik me .. dun nid to sae leh ..  haiz .. i wonder on earth got anybody more suay den me anot ..

i write until here today .. dun sae le .. i scared i sae le .. my tears start dropping again ..

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                     tEaRs dRoP d0wN sP0ntAen0uSly wHeN i tInK 0F y0u

wah lan .. i today very farking dulan lorz .. especially in band tt time .. my idiotic junior .. i tell him this .. he gave me tt .. and den i correct him .. he argue with me .. pls lor .. i v pek chek 1 lorz .. i dun lik pple gimme this kind of attitude lor .. i sae how mani times liao still dunwan listen .. dunwan listen sua lor .. i jus nw shout at him .. many many times .. i heck care hw he feel arz .. as if he gt see hw i feel .. lata he osho give instructor attitude lor .. instructor also cannot stand him lo .. i wonder hu can stand him osho lor .. sibei dulan lo .. if fri he cum and test my patience again .. i wun teach mi anymore lo .. let him rot dere .. best ar liddat .. better still if he die .. hahaz .. i knoe i very bad .. kekez .. dun sae this junior le .. waste my breath le .. hehez ..

hmm .. i got low blood sia .. i think .. i always leg very very white .. is totally no blood those type .. hands osho .. hahaz .. sumtimes face osho liddat .. no wonder i always headache 1 lor .. haiz .. weird hor .. pple high blood i low blood .. kekez ..

today didnt realli do much lor .. hmm .. i go to school .. very very sian .. and very suay .. i tot my maths 2 at locker .. when i go to sch .. the maths 2 not dere .. today i cum home .. yuan lai stuck at one corner of the room .. lolss .. my room messy lorz .. stuck le .. nvm .. i still mus do everything again .. copy everything again .. hu ask me arz .. hahaz .. but my tcher v good .. she sae nvm .. ask me do on foolscap 1st .. c if can find the ex bk .. if cannot den buy lo .. at least she better den some idiotic teacher whu tot me maths in the 1st half of the year .. hahaz .. den history hor .. i dun understand a single neh .. las tym that hu teach i still understand .. nw this witch teach me .. i dun understand arz .. sian sian sian.. i tink die le lor .. esp exam dat time ..

hmm .. today got poa test .. but mi 4got to bring hm bk .. hahaz .. in test i got ask my friend .. hahaz .. whu doesn't rite ? heEs .. nvm larhs .. all over le .. budden hor .. dunno will pass anot .. social studies already fail .. dunno whether poa skali fail .. den i jialat le lor .. jus nw cum back frm band .. hmm .. reaching 7 pm le .. hehe .. but today i didnt complain lehz .. mayb i realli used to it le bahz .. hmm .. tml got poa remedial .. dunno if i shud go anot .. i dun feel lik going .. cuz i wan to go out after sch .. this is my favourite .. after sch cfm go out .. lolz .. so tml dunno hw ..

hmm .. i tink i today stop until here kaes ? hehe .. tml den update ~!

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                                              = I tink i lyk u again =